I
decided to write in after viewing a programme on 20/20 on trich. I'm seventeen,
and found out I had this disorder. at the age of 11. I discovered my younger
sister had two huge bald spots at both sides of her head. She loved to eat
the white roots of the hair she pulled.
Terrified, I told my parents and after months of therapy, my sister regained
her crowning glory.
Then I began to develop a weird fascination with hair. I didn't believe
my sister could pull out so much hair. My hair-pulling was subtle: I pulled
at the front hairline, so it was less visible. When I was 12, my friends
were wondering how come there was a white line in between my forehead and
scalp : I could not answer. I soon started to pull my eyelashes and finger-hair.
Till this day, the hairs on my finger have remained off, because I've been
constantly pulling them. My eyelashes have grown back, because I've only
been concentrating on the most inconspicuous areas.
There were periods when I told myself not to pull, and I would succeed,
but I always started pulling again. I would pull under the top layers of
my hair to avoid people seeing it, but soon I started to pull my partings.
Just as my sister had done so many years ago, I relished the joy of eating
the white roots.
I was unable to stop this compulsion. The partings grew wider and my mum
noticed. She didn't know what was wrong, but she coined my parting 'the
parting of the red sea'.
I would often change partings, wear hairbands to conceal the bald spots
that my compulsion had left behind.
This year, I started to use eye-liner pencils to blacken the bald spots
so that my school mates wouldn't notice. Dad found out and said this would
hamper the hair from growing even more, but I refused to listen. The shame
of letting my friends know that I was balding would have been too much to
bear.
I only found out about trich yesterday, and am so glad that there was a
name, at least, for my disorder, and that many others were suffering from
it. I felt brave enough to tell my story. I hope that anyone who comes across
my story will know that this isn't a lonely disorder.
|