It was summer, about 2 or 3 years ago when it started.

I can remember sitting and watching television (I Love Lucy) on Nick at Night. I was splitting my split ends and then I just started pulling and pulling.

My mother and father noticed that my part was very wide. I wanted to tell them but I just couldn't. I had OCD and I already felt that they thought that I was weird.

My mother noticed and was shocked; Iremember her eyes looking at me like Ii was a freak (I know that she didn't, but I guess that's what was in my mind). I felt like she and my step-father were ashamed of me.

I started to cry. My friend came over and asked me what was wrong but I told her it was nothing.

The next day my step father made me feel like an idiot. He was like "don't pull out your hair while I'm at work today. Will it be okay if i leave you alone here?" I told them that it wasnt a habit like chewing nails as my mother said it was.

I told my mother I thought I had heard of someone doing this before but wasn't sure. Pretty soon she started to think that Iwas doing it for attention because it was something that I had seen on TV.

I stopped for about 2 months because I was so ashamed of myself when I went back to school (I had just started middle school) you could see where all of the hair was growing back!!

People asked me and I just said "I dont know".

I started to piull in secret again. I felt like I was the only person in the world who did this and that I was weird or a freak of some sort.

I kept on and on and my mother noticed that my hair was thinning about 5 months or so ago.

I have started and stopped and started again but I feel that this time it will be the end! 2 months ago, I was told that my cousin had this when she was younger. She went though so much counselling and quit and I guess I can too!!

I think I would be too embarrassed to go to a doctor. I can't wait until the day I can go to the hairdresser with pride and have compliments on how thick my hair is (just like i did when i was younger). I can do this !!

My father was abusive (sexualy mentally and physically). I have had OCD. You know what, if I can get over those, hopefully I can do this also!! I just have to think about it as one part of my day not as me ! Together we can do this !!

LOVE MsClEo!!!