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I don't remember exactly when my hair pulling started.
I do remember it didn't start with my scalp - it started, I think, when
I
was about 14 by plucking the hairs from my big toes - I hated the thought
of
having hairy toes.
It progressed to my eyelashes, bottom lids only. It just felt nice, and
then I didn't like to see stray lashes, so would pull them out. My best
friend noticed and just thought it was odd, but I never spoke to her properly
about what I was doing.
The progression to my scalp came when I started revising for my
exams at 16, and got my trichotillomania grew progressively worse through
my A Levels. I liked the sensations - espcially when I found a hair that
didn't feel like it should be there. It was a bonus if the follicle came
out too - I'd separate that from the hair, but never eat it as I know
some people do.
My brother, who is an awful lot taller than me, would tease me and tell
me I
was going bald. My hairdresser constantly questioned why I had stumpy
bits at the
side of my head, as did my Mum when she blow dried my hair. I said it
was from me "playing with my hair", and breaking it.
At Uni, my flatmates would catch me at it, mention I was going bald,
and find hair EVERYWHERE.. there was never anyone I felt I could talk
to about it. I shrugged it off as a habit.
At about the age of 17/18, I would pluck from my underarms, eyebrows
and bikini line - just removing hair from anywhere.
Finally, at the age of 23 I stopped - almost. I got together with my
boyfriend, and when I started to realise the relationship was becoming
rather serious I desperately wanted a full head of beautiful, healthy
hair like I once had. In the back of my mind lurked the thought that if
I ever had a wedding day, I would want the hairdresser not to have to
compensate for my bald patches or clumpy bits.
For two and half years I have not pulled ... from my scalp at any rate.
I
stil have a small problem with one eyelid, and I can't ditch the tweezers
for my underarms, toes, and bikini line - but they're generally places
where
you don't want hair anyway, so I'm comfortable with that for the moment.
My boyfriend was the first person I ever told about my Trichotillomania,
and he's been amazingly supportive. It's also helped me to talk to a few
of my best friends
about it - and they now say they could see I had a problem, but were never
sure
what to say to me.
Thank you for letting me voice my story - and hope I can be a help to
somone
else.
Kat (my username on the Interactive
Site is Feline)
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