As the years went on I used to roll the ends of my head hair into knots and
pull them out, which progressed onto pubic hair when I was about 12, which I
have never told anyone about. In my teens I started to pull out my eyebrows.
I am now one week away from being 26 and my life has been ruled by this
stupid habit! I have tried every new year to give up. Half the time, I don't
think I even know I'm doing it. It's such a ritual. I feel the lashes and if
one feels out of place (??) I yank! My eyelashes are now very thin and if I
wear no eyeliner, I look absolutely repulsive. I have to blend some eyebrow
pencil into my brows to fill the gaps. My mum also suffers and has done for
a number of years. She says that years ago she used to pull out the hairs on
her arms but now it's the hair on her head. She hates herself for it and is
forever complaining about it. I know how she feels but how can we stop? I
think I've tried everything.

Doctors are never interested. I remember going to one when I was 15 and
practically breaking down in front of her. My mum was with me and we both
pleaded with her for help. She took one look at me, looked at my scalp, said
it was dry and that the fact that dandruff might be falling onto my lashes,
making them itch so I pulled them out! She prescribed me a medicated shampoo
and I promptly threw the prescription in the bin when I walked out.

It feels like such a relief to hear that I'm not mad like people make me out
to be or weird or anything like that. But, help! Am are forced to live like
this for the rest of my life. The guilt is drawing me down.

Anyway, thanks for reading as I know I've waffled on a bit. It's just that
this has always ruled my life.

LISA