It's understandable that a person with trichotillomania might find it difficult to look another person in the eye ... particularly if they pull out their eyelashes or brows.

However many trichsters have real social issues, often extending as far as social anxiety or a social phobia.

No-one can grow up without being hurt, so some time in adult life, a trichster trusts and gets let down. Trichsters, being hyper-sensitive individuals, take this twice as personally, reinforcing an injunction recorded early in life of "don't get close". Next time you start to trust, you'll likely hold something back, which the other person will sense and mistrust you slightly … you'll probably be rejected, which reinforces the message recorded in childhood saying "Don't get close".

SELF FULFILLING PROPHECIES

Feeling lonely and left out, you try to break down your barriers, force yourself to go to a party, enroll on a course, or even just go to the store. You start talking, and just as you're starting to feel really proud, someone makes a hurtful remark. What does the inner child do? Grasps at the hurt and holds it proudly, as proof that bonding with others is unsafe.

The trichster reaction is to run home and hide away, pulling in private, reinforcing the hurt the other person unwittingly caused.

The only answer is self-kindness.

Acknowledge that trich once had it's pay-offs, but now that you have more understanding of yourself, you may be ready to move on.

If something's not working well in your life,

Dare to bond with people. Take a risk. Be the one who makes the phone call. USE OUR PLACE OF SAFETY : Place a message on the message board.

SHED THE SHAME. It isn't yours any more. It never was.

You are so special … make someone else feel special too … today.