Her father was abusive
It was summer, about 2 or 3 years ago when it started.
I can remember sitting and watching television (I Love Lucy) on Nick at Night. I was splitting my split ends and then I just started pulling and pulling.
My mother and father noticed that my parting was very wide. I wanted to tell them but I just couldn’t. I had OCD and I already felt that they thought that I was weird.
My mother noticed and was shocked. I remember her eyes looking at me like I was a freak (I know that she didn’t, but I guess that’s what was in my mind). I felt like she and my step-father were ashamed of me.
I started to cry. My friend came over and asked me what was wrong but I told her it was nothing.
The next day my step-father made me feel like an idiot. He was like “don’t pull out your hair while I’m at work today. Will it be okay if I leave you alone here?” I told them that it wasn’t a habit like chewing nails as my mother said it was.
I told my mother I thought I had heard of someone doing this before but wasn’t sure. Pretty soon she started to think that I was doing it for attention because it was something that I had seen on TV.
I stopped for about 2 months because I was so ashamed of myself when I went back to school (I had just started middle school) you could see where all of the hair was growing back!!
People asked me and I just said “I dont know”.
I started to pull in secret again. I felt like I was the only person in the world who did this and that I was weird or a freak of some sort.
I kept on and on and my mother noticed that my hair was thinning about 5 months or so ago.
I have started and stopped and started again but I feel that this time it will be the end! 2 months ago, I was told that my cousin had this when she was younger. She went though so much counselling and quit and I guess I can too!!
I think I would be too embarrassed to go to a doctor. I can’t wait until the day I can go to the hairdresser with pride and have compliments on how thick my hair is (just like i did when i was younger). I can do this !!
My father was abusive (sexually, mentally and physically). I have had OCD. You know what, if I can get over those, hopefully I can do this also!! I just have to think about it as one part of my day not as me ! Together we can do this !!
LOVE MsClEo!!!
